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I am not the best and I am not the worst.

I don't have the greatest credentials but I don't have the worst either.

I am, like you, in the bell curve.

In a recent book I read, the author prompts the reader to consider a hypothetical. Imagine Spielberg wanting to make a movie about your life. Would you want your movie to reflect your life exactly as it is now? Would you want your movie to reflect your life exactly as it is except for a small change, perhaps meeting someone new or some event taking place? Or, would you want something completely different? A brand-new life story, vastly different from the life you are living now?

My initial, top-of-my-head response was that I wanted a completely new life story. In it, I would be a writer and a speaker. I would travel around the country, the world, writing and talking I would speak to a crowd of hundreds and thousands. I imagine myself walking onto a stage after a brief introdcution of me by the host, in a navy blue suit and a pair of fabulous burgundy shoes. I wouldn't stand behind a podium because I would want to walk around the stage and connect with the people I'm talking with.

I imagine myself being interviewed about the book I wrote, about my life, about God, about the exact moment I knew that I would do this thing (whatever this thing is). I imagine myself being a part of a panel discussion about moralities of our culture, faith, education system, women's issues, the zeitgeist of our and future generations.

Then I began to think about the actual details of that life story. Will I travel by myself? Will I stay at a nice hotel or perhaps at someone's, at the host's, grand mansion? It would have to be by myself. I couldn't expect my husband to drop everything and travel with me. What about my children? Who would take care of them? I couldn't leave them soley to my mom's and my husband's care. I don't want to be an absentee mom for my own success' sake. And will I be able to enjoy a quiet Sunday evening like this without being a nervous wreck about the upcoming speaking event? What if I had a speaking engagement on a Monday such as tomorrow? What will I be doing and feeling right now? Do I want that over this comfort?

But what if I get to travel on my own? What if I get to travel just a couple of times a month over a weekend when the kids aren't in need of me as much. What if I get to travel sometimes with my husband since the kids are getting older and they wouldn't mind us leaving them alone? In fact, they would prefer it sometimes. What if I get to share with my kids and my husband about what I'll be speaking about and we can pray together about the upcoming event? What if I get excited about the speaking engagement? What if, instead of sitting here with my heart almost flat-lining, my heart will flutter with excitement and anticipation? Isn't that also possible?

I know that my God loves family unity. I know that my God loves husbands and wives to be united in Him. I know that if what I need to do is of God, then He will take care of our family. If it is of God, my husband and I will be more united than ever. If it is of God, our children will be nurtured and nourished by being a part of this journey. Then, that's how I would know. If a door opens up and should that door lead to unity and stronger bond within my family, then that would be one of the signs that it is of God.

Something else I know. I know that my God is not a God of mediocrity. My God is magnanimous in all things, in all He does, in who He is. My God embodies excellence, possessing unparelleled credentials, outside of time and space, outside of the bell curve. I may not be the best and I may not be the worst but my God pulls me to the right. He stretches and squeezes me to pull me out of the bell curve into the flattening line of outliers. He tells me today that, mediocrity, is not for me.

I Envision a World

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