From: Lydia <> Date: Sun, May 10, 2020 at 12:33 AM Subject: To: Apollo <>


Where do I start...

Sometimes I wonder what made you fall in love with me.

I mean, we are so different.

The way you grew up with a beautiful family having it all.

You don't know how shocked I was when you brought me to your parents' place for the first time.

I didn't know you lived in a mansion.

And you grew up so pristine.

You went to church diligently, you hung out with church friends, you were (and are) the leader at the church..

You kept yourself pure.

So, what was it about me that you liked?

I didn't fit into the mold you were seeking as your ideal woman.

You knew I was not pure like you.

You knew I was far from being a virgin.

It seemed like you accepted me as I am.

And even though you say it's ok, I don't think it is.

In the middle of making love, your face change.

You say you can't get the picture of me doing the same thing with another guy.

In that very moment, you say things like that.

I don't know how to take that.

Do I apologize? Was it my fault that I didn't keep myself pure for you? Should I have known?

And this book.

I think you know that I'm a reader.

Even if this book doesn't have any redeeming value, no hidden message, or moral truths, I'm ok with it.

The writing itself makes up for it.

Because I think, sometimes, it's ok to write just to write. Creating art for art's sake.

Does art always have to have a message?

To me, it's ok if it doesn't.

To me, it's ok if it doesn't appeal to everyone because it doesn't contain universal truths.

It's art, nonetheless.

This book, though, has so much more than just a beautiful prose.

It contains in it aspects of humanity, all of us.

It has delusions, fantasies, taboos, tragedies, satire, and love, too.

You should read it. Just to see.

You may get to see the beauty of it without liking the characters in it.

I don't know... Apollo...

Do you think about what you're doing in this relationship?

You say it bothers you that we're intimate without being married.

But you are not willing to make the leap and I don't want to either.

You know we fight about the same thing over and over?

This is all we fight about.

You fantasizing about what I must've done with other guys.

I don't know anymore.

It's your fantasy.


I Envision a World

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