From: Ruth <>
Date: Wed, Jun 3, 2020 at 5:11PM
Subject: how are you
To: Lydia <>


Hi Lydia,

I think I understand what you mean.

I suppose I was naive in thinking America was all that it touted to be.


Knowledge is power.  You say it's not.

I know you're feeling cynical because you're stressed out about your business.


When I look back at my life, there are many many moments that I wish I had known more, known better.

I wish I had known that my studies would truly get me to places.  I wish I had studied more.

I wish I had known that guys come and go but friends are forever.  I wish I had more friends.

I wish I had known that I looked fine, that I was attractive.  I wish I had been more confident.

I wish I had used my time more productively, reading the right books, learning better things, writing even if it seemed it wouldn't amount to anything. 

I wish I had pursued what was right.

I wish I had known God sooner, earlier.  I wish I had sought His guidance sooner.  Where would I be now?


With knowledge, I wouldn't have made so many mistakes in my life.

Knowledge would have given me the power to change the course of my life.


But I know what you mean.

Knowledge inside of me may have the power to change me but it doesn't have the power to change others.

The others would have to see me in the position of power for my knowlege to matter to them.


But if one person can make a difference in this world, then even I could have made a difference in this world if I had the knowledge to change myself.

It would have been one more better person in this world than just me.


I know you and Apollo have been having problems.

You mentioned it briefly before too.

Apollo is such a good guy, a good Christian, right?


Hope we can get together soon.















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